Hello everyone! One of my greatest accomplishments in life was becoming a resident assistant. Getting the phone call that I have been accepted to be an RA for spring 2024 was exhilarating. I get to be a leader, get free housing, and have an experience not many people have. 

However, I learned that this experience makes it hard to remember to take care of myself. For someone with mental health issues, it was hard to balance school, work, and a social life. Along with that, I needed to learn how to regulate my emotions. This amazing experience has presented some challenges, but I learned a few tips that have helped me in this position. I will be sharing 12 tips on how to take care of yourself when you’re an RA or in any leadership role in college. 

Keep a calendar - Use a calendar or planner to keep track of your schedule. I personally like using a google calendar because I can plan study time, and remember important dates like duty times, events, and meetings. Google calendar also reminds you of what you planned. Remember to stick to your schedule. 

Set boundaries - It is easy to think you need to be available at all times. You can’t be available 24/7. You need time for school, yourself, and just to recharge. If a resident is crossing that boundary, communicate that with them. Let them know that you are happy to help, but now is not the time. Guide them to another RA that is available, to your RHM, or let them know when you are available to help. Don’t be pressured to be their friend when you aren’t available. Your role is to support them, not be their therapist. This helps you remain professional and keep your mental health in check. 

Avoid negativity - Being in this position, you are always around residents and fellow staff. You will encounter some drama, conflicts, and complaints. This can drain you from the position and make it hard to love your job. If someone is constantly venting to you or sharing drama, it is okay to redirect the conversation or walk away from it. You may get caught up in gossip from residents and staff. Stay neutral and positive to stay professional. Lead by example and don’t engage in it. Find support in your friends, family, RHM, and fellow RA’s that encourage a positive attitude. 

Nap time - Taking naps is really important when you’re an RA especially when you’re on duty. It is unpredictable how long you will stay up. There are some nights that are so quiet that the only thing you have to do is rounds. There are also some nights that you are up till 2am doing concerns reports or key ins. You may have to lose some quality sleep time in this position. So it is important to make up for lost time. Make sure to plan some time aside just in case you need to catch up on sleep. This has helped me so much especially as someone who relies on sleep to function. 

Friends - Just because you’re an RA doesn’t mean you should give up your social life and avoid making friends. I found it hard as a 2nd semester RA to make friends. I did find that I can still make friends as an RA. My personal rule is I make friends with residents that don’t reside on my floor. This helps me avoid conflicts of interest. As for my friends on different floors or other halls, I tell them from the start that I may be an RA, but I can’t personally help them with reslife issues. I direct them to the RA’s in their building or floor. I also let my friends know in my building that if a situation arises and I’m on duty, I must remain unbiased. In those cases, I also communicate with my RHM about how I handled the situation to ensure I handled the situation with as little bias as possible. These boundaries have helped me maintain my relationships while remaining professional. All of my friends have been understanding and understand that I’m just doing my job. 

Treat yourself - This job can be draining at times. It is best to recognize that and find a way to take care of yourself. One of my favorite things was to take a nice long relaxing bath or shower. This helped me destress and unwind. I reward myself for handling difficult situations by eating ice cream or enjoying a game I like playing. This helps me make the best of the situations. 

Ask for help - It was easy for me to forget that resources on campus were also available for me. There was a point where I was struggling so bad with balancing school and my RA position. Don’t be afraid to ask for help. My RHM’s have been so helpful with advice about how to take care of myself as an RA. I use the TLC center to help me with tutoring needs I have in classes. I use the success couch to give me advice and resources to stay on top of my class work. I also had a therapist that helped me through my emotions in the job, and in school. It was helpful for me especially in situations where I couldn’t help my residents. 

Engage in something non-RA related - Sometimes, you find yourself caught up in the job. This can potentially lead to burn out. To prevent that, find some other activities you enjoy doing. You can enjoy a hobby you enjoy doing. For me, that’s reading, coloring, writing, and playing games. You can also find on campus activities you enjoy. I am an executive council member of a club on campus called Adventurers Guild that focuses on table top games. This gave me something else to enjoy doing on campus that wasn’t RA related.. Just remember not to over-commit yourself. 

Get off campus - Being in a leadership position on campus, I sometimes feel like all eyes are on me. There’s a pressure of being a good role model. Sometimes, you need to escape that pressure. Get off campus and just enjoy being a human. My favorite thing is to go home. Whenever I’m home, the pressure of feeling like I need to be perfect is off my shoulders. I don’t have to worry about having all eyes on me at all times. This also gives me a good break to step away from my position. 

Don’t take things personally - There will be situations that you will need to confront a resident about. Some take it well and understand that you’re just doing your job. Other times, a resident may talk back at you or be angry with you. I have confiscated things from residents and they were really angry at me. The first time this happened, I was an emotional wreck. They may not understand your motives for why you applied, but you’re just doing your job. Just remember that you’re only doing your job and give yourself grace. It’s not your fault that they have a banned item on campus or broken policy. 

Turn bad situations into something positive  - With bad situations, you may get lost in that negative feeling from it. Take a step back and turn it into something positive. Think about how well you handled that situation. Think of how much you have improved as a person. Sometimes, I think about how there was no way I would’ve gotten through that situation 5 years ago. Think about what you’ve learned. You can even do this if you’ve made a mistake and apply what you’ve learned. In a situation where you are biased, put yourself in their shoes. Maybe that resident has been going through something and that’s why they acted that way to you or their roommates. If someone is complaining about something, maybe you can talk to your RHM to come up with a solution to solve a problem! Sometimes, a situation may be so absurd that it’s hard to twist it into something positive. Laugh it off. 

Remember why you applied - It is easy to forget why you applied for this position. There are days that you may ask yourself “why did I sign up for this?” Take a moment to step back and remember. Maybe you are doing this because you want to help others. Maybe you wanted personal development. Maybe you just wanted free housing. For me, I had a rough experience the first time I went to college as a resident. I had some issues with roommates and wanted to be there for them. Whatever that reason is, remember it. Put it in your notes or write it on a sticky note to help you remember during those hard times.

In conclusion, your experience as an RA may be different from others and maybe you find other ways to take care of yourself through this experience. I am happy with my experience as an RA because I have grown more confident in myself. I am sad that I will be stepping down for my last year at my college, but sometimes you need to take mental health as a priority in your position. Thank you for reading, and if you are becoming an RA or already an RA, I hope you found my blog entry useful and helpful! 

Sincerely,

Sage